ASH
Born 1999 / 8 months pregnant
I sat down with Ash in her home in New Milford, a suburb of New York City, to discuss being pregnant & having children as a member of Gen Z.
DVW: Why did you decide to start a family?
ASH: Um, well, starting with family… In Dominican culture, grandmothers, mothers raise their daughters to take care of the household, to have that responsibility of having a family. Those [values] gets passed down to me, to my brother. It becomes part of your identity.
DVW: So you always knew you wanted children.
ASH: Yes.
DVW: Do you want more than one?
ASH: I would like more than one. I only have one brother, so I would like a couple of kids. But he [motions towards partner] wants seven.
DVW: Do you want seven kids?
ASH: I don’t know if I could have that many. I could do three.
DVW: Do you always want to raise them in the suburbs of NYC? Or would you maybe come back to the city one day?
ASH: It really depends where in the city. The city is a little hectic. Here in the suburbs, there’s a slower pace of life. It doesn’t really matter to me. As long as they’re loved, can get a good education, and we can do things together as a family.
DVW: But do you think it would be harder raising them in the city?
ASH: It depends what kind of lifestyle you want to provide for your kids. If you’re raising them to be materialistic, and you want to provide a certain level of luxury for them, then it could be pretty costly in the city. But if you raise them normally, if you don’t constantly carry the consumer mindset, and you cook at home, there’s cost effective ways you can make it work.
Ash, her partner, and her stepdaughter in their backyard.
DVW: Do you think it will be easier raising children as a member of Gen Z because of our access to information and community, (i.e. looking up“mom hacks”) on an app like Tik Tok?
ASH: I do. For example, after getting my baby registry together, my mom was like, wow, I wish they had this back then. The access to the internet, it makes things a lot more accessible.
DVW: Does having this access to the internet ease your worries about being a mom a bit too?
ASH: It does, yeah. You can hear about a lot of other womens’ experiences as moms without actually being there with them. It helps a lot.
DVW: Have you participated in any of the maternity trends that are common right now? Like not clothing the bump?
ASH: Maybe at home. I haven’t had the confidence to do that outside. Definitely at home, I definitely have the bump out. I have seen women randomly on Instagram, across Facebook and Instagram. I’ve definitely seen a lot of videos of women [dressed like that].
DVW: Do you think you’ll raise your child with easy access to technology and social media, like Tik Tok and Instagram?
ASH: I mean, it's part of the world they live in. They probably will know about it and use it. But I definitely want to create a balance for them. I personally have experienced the negative effects of social media, and I don’t want to expose my kids to that. I want to teach them self control.
DVW: How did people react to your pregnancy?
ASH: They were happy. Definitely happy. Just happy to have a new baby around. I feel like people aren’t having kids as much. So finding out someone is pregnant is like, “Oh my God!”
DVW: Do you think being pregnant, having children is a bigger deal for Generation Z than previous generations?
ASH: Yes. Back then, you know, people were having 10, 12 kids. It was normal to have a big family. But now, even just having one kid, people project their anxieties onto you about having children. Anxieties about this world, about the responsibilities of it all. And then there’s some people that are totally for it.
DVW: Did you always plan on having children at 25?
ASH: I mean, my mom had me at 25… I think it’s a good age. I got to have fun before having a kid, I got to travel, I got some alone time. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. Having a kid doesn’t stop your life. It’s just an adjustment.